This afternoon, when the three of us got back to the house, as I was setting down the art projects and lunch boxes I somehow inevitably end up being bogged down with during our walk, I shuddered and remarked, "Gosh it's cold out! I think this might be a hot cocoa kind of afternoon." To this, Charlotte matter-of-factly said, "You say that almost every day now. You know what, Nicole? I just think you're not very good at winter."
And she's SO right! I am bad at winter. I hate the way Wisconsin winters water down my energy and optimism. I hate the months of grey blah-ness. I get giddy sometimes thinking that this could be my last winter spent so far north. But more than anything, I loved the way this spot-on observation of Charlotte's criticized me.
Christian marriage counselor and now popular author, Gary Chapman, proposes that there are five main "love languages"- ways people express and interpret love. They include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
Undoubtedly, I feel most loved and appreciated by people when they express that they care for me through words of affirmation. I never feel more loved than, whether through a note, on the phone, or just in conversation, I hear specifically what someone might appreciate about me.
So, perhaps because of this (I think it's a logical conclusion, anyway) I've been noticing lately that I also really, honestly appreciate and sometimes crave almost the opposite of verbal affirmation: constructive criticism. And that is what, this afternoon, my sassy little Charlotte provided me.
I think, especially as someone who might seek to serve the Lord and others, it is absolutely crucial that we know what we are good at, and what we are not. That we be conscious of who we are, who the Lord made us to be, and just who we are not. That we are ever being made aware of where our gifts and talents are, and where they are not.
This afternoon, then, as silly as it may seem, served as a reminder to me that I am just not someone who can really appreciate a bitterly cold winter. I really think it bogs me down more than others, I feel less joyful and alive. It just doesn't jive, maybe, with how I am supposed to, from here on out, live. Thanks, Charlotte! But I, through self-criticism and hearing the criticisms of others have also learned other valuable insights about myself. And hope to always continue to grow in that way.
On a lighter, more winter-friendly note, there are certainly some positives to these cold, pre-Christmas days. One such positive: Ben Rector's Christmas EP. You should download it. Only thing better? Listening to Ben Rector serenading me with Christmas cheer while enjoying Trader Joe's Cocoa Drizzled Kettle Corn. Mmmm.
