rush hour

psalm 139: 23-24 “search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

it’s a new year, a new semester, and looking inside of me a little bit lately i’ve found some new-ish things that i kind of adore about myself but also some things i really want to work on and change. one of those things i’ve decided to make a conscious effort to change is: driving the speed limit. seriously. i speed ALL the time. and while i’ve never gotten a ticket for it (thanks to my excellent talking-myself-out-of-bad-situation skills), it’s still not a good thing.

further than pushing myself to just slow down on the road, though, i’ve done a lot of thinking lately about how i would just like to slow myself down in general. driving-wise and life-wise i rush from place to place. i speed from one thing to the next. i’m entirely destination obsessed and not at all journey focused sometimes.

proverbs 16:9 says “in his heart a man plans his course, but the lord determines his steps”

lately i’ve been doing a LOT of course-planning and have been anxious and jittery to just “get on the road” to working my way through the plans and goals and future i’ve invented for myself.

i truly don’t know why, but sometimes i almost find myself wanting to speed or even fast-forward through this part of my life to get to the “good” part or to start “real” life. which is CRAZY!

i love my life right now. i’m excited to- cheesily but honestly- one day be a wife and a mom and try to make the world a better place, but where i am now is MAGNIFICENT in so many ways, too.

i need to put on the brakes sometimes. i need to enjoy the journey of life, the adventures, the detours, the slow country back roads, and not constantly try to zoom to wherever it is i’m headed next.

proverbs says “…the lord determines his STEPS” and i looooove that. right now a prayer for myself and i’m sure a million other people is that we let life just be us lazily but joyfully going out on a evening stroll with our father, enjoying the time spent together step by step rather than us running to our car, programming a destination in on our gps and speeding to that pre-set place on auto pilot.

abba, help me slowtheheckdown today :)